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Fedzor

An old friend. -Creepypasta-

10 posts in this topic

One of the best I've written so far in my opinion, lemme know what you think below.

 

Hello my name is Tommy. I've never actually been the curious type. hell I wouldn't care if the second coming of Jesus happened. but... this one particular event in my life I'd like to share with you... stands out above the rest.
 
You see back when I was 2 years old I met my very best friend, his name was "Johnny Hutz" we were both about the same age, and were the same in almost every other way, too. We would share everything together, food, drinks, a game, a controller, brothers and sisters, beds, he was like a brother to me.
 
Around 5 years later my Dad informed me we would be moving to a small town that had not received any sort of name through it's time. I said "goodbye" to my best friend and promised I would always be by his side... I was a fool with an ambitious dream of course.
 
Another few years went by in this new town and I slowly forgot about my friend, Johnny.
 
I started to meet other people, funnier people, people I loved and cared for, however I would soon find out how much people can turn their backs on you.
 
I went through a long stage of depression when I started my teenage years, and I began to take advantage of everyone and not giving a fuck in the world, but one night when I went to bed. I saw... what can only be described as a face of sadness... looking, staring at me and slowly the face said "You left me Tommy, why did you leave me? WHY?!?!" it soon after disappeared, and I cried my heart out. Tears dripped down my face daily from that point on.
 
About a week later I got up the courage to go visit Johnny, I went to his old house to find it was all boarded up. It had smashed windows, torn up roofing, dinted doors. Fuck sake it looked as if Johnny had been on a mad one. I asked the neighbour if he had heard from Johnny. The neighbour stared at me, and confusedly said "Son, nobody has ever lived there named Johnny" 
 
"What? That can't be possible. I used to live right across the road there"
 
The house of which I lived in had been torn up, and half destroyed. The neighbour then said to me
 
"Son, remind me who you are?"
 
"My name is Tommy, i used to live across the street there"
 
"Not likely, no one has lived there in 30 years"
 
A sudden shiver of deep regret drained down my spine as I backed away from Johnny's house.
 
When I got back home inside my house was deserted, as if nobody lived there. As time went on nobody was home by 12:00 AM, I soon began to cry, I thought something had happened to my parents.
 
Then walked outside. no one noticed me, not even a glare. i walked across to the graveyard and noticed my family standing around a grave that had mine and Johnny's name on it. Then Johnny patted me on the shoulder....
 
"It's gonna be okay from now on, Tommy"
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:wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat: :wat:

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Was this an excuse to get 100 posts? xD

 

Anyway I read it and it's not a bad story tbh.

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No offense, but I'd recommend fixing all the grammar if you're planning on making another one, besides that it's a bit of an overused storyline but you seemed to keep it original

Honestly, not too bad :D

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I did the liberty of changing all the typos and adding punctuation where needed to add a hint of professionalism since this is a story. That aside, I really liked the story, like the thought of being dead and seeing your mourning relatives beside your grave, and what else is in store for you in the after-life, really makes the mind think.

 

Well done.

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I did the liberty of changing all the typos and adding punctuation where needed to add a hint of professionalism since this is a story. That aside, I really liked the story, like the thought of being dead and seeing your mourning relatives beside your grave, and what else is in store for you in the after-life, really makes the mind think.

 

Well done.

Thanks :)

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